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Archive for July, 2008

Phantasquake!

As most of you know, we had a 5.4 earthquake yesterday in Southern California. No catastrophes reported yet, thank goodness. Then, everybody got a hold of each other on Facebook and it was OK.

It was pretty scary when it was happening, though. A very long 30 seconds. It was intense enough to disrupt the Judge Judy show.

How much weirder could the day get? Well, today I ALSO found out that there’s going to be an outdoor screening of Phantasm in LA. And only 2 days ago I had said” “Hey, you know what they should show outside in LA? Phantasm!”!!!!

*

* Not Phantasm (Go Brewers!)

Sorry. We’ve had enough scary earthquake stuff, today, so no scary Phantasm pics. Instead, we’ll have cute stuffed animals. Well, actually, I keep looking for cute stuffed animals, but I keep stumbling upon mildly unsettling stuffed animals. Hey, not to go off on a tangent, but WHAT IS THIS?

It’s listed as a “Ducksheep”. Great, NOW it’s not upsetting. I’m buying this thing just to keep it off the market. And I’m naming it “Phantasm”.

Oh, and I’m also going to buy THIS MUSTACHE STUFFED ANIMAL and name it Phantasm II. What the..?

Um…..to sum up…..everyone was OK from the earthquake and I found out that I’m psychically linked to Phantasm. Or this mustache. Whatever.

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JEAN-BAPTISTE EMMANUEL ZORG from The Fifth Element

So that’s a wedge cut
No really, it’s fine
I’ll just sit here quietly

THE HORNED KING from The Black Cauldron

You’re so scary…wait
John Hurt?… IS THAT YOU IN THERE?
Thanks for calling back!!!!!

JACKSON RIPPNER FROM RED EYE

Hey, sexy evil hitman
If you sit next to me
On my flight to Milwaukee
I’ll try to change you
And you’ll stop killing people
And then you’ll say
“THANKS LESLEY, I LOVE YOU”. *

*not Haiku

SENATOR PALPATINE a.k.a. THE EMPEROR from Return of the Jedi

Wow, I know, me, too!
I love modern design, too
What is wrong with me

THAT THING IN KRULL from Krull

Hey um excuse me
Could you sign my Yearbook for…
No? I…OK…bye

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Back to Normal

I’m back in LA for what I’m tentatively guessing will be oh…at least awhile.

In order to get back to LA reality, my weekend back was as follows:

1) Attend student showcase for Mikel’s trapeze class. It is awesome and includes a fog machine.

2) Immediately after the show, go to a trendy LA bar for a snack and to watch people dressed up like extras from the movie The Apple.

3) Drive home and see 3 guys standing outside the 99 cent store dressed in Pilgrim costumes that looked like they were designed by Prince.

4) Go to beach the following day dressed like trollop. Pretend Mystik tan is sexy genetics.

5) Fall asleep drooling on couch watching the 1979 movie Time After Time. while still wearing bikini.

Good to be back.

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Calisconsin

So. Where have I been? Wait..where am I now? Oh, LA! Back in LA. Which is not Wisconsin. (Pictured above). Which is where I’ve been. Until now. And now I’m back in Wisconsin.

Sorry, can’t help you. It’s been pretty hectic lately.

I’ve been jumping in and out. I was in Milwaukee for ten days in early June, where there were floods and tornado warnings and sirens and unearthly storms. Then I was back in LA where I sank, lizardlike, back into the smog and lights and fire and sun. I’m possibly living out the Old Testament or a really horrible episode of Quantum Leap or both.

So I’m back in Wisconsin, where I’ll probably get swallowed by a whale and turn into a pillar of salt and be beaten savagely by Joseph and the Amazing his Technicolor Dreamcoat when we inevitably run into each other at Pick N’ Save and have a fight about who is more disoriented.

Not a complaint. It’s just a heightened version of what I’ve done for awhile, straddling these two places, now made blurrier with Facebook and Skype and various personal events which are making me emerge out of some part of myself like I’m stepping out of some old, cracked snakeskin. Hopefully, I’ll leave it on the ground and not be tempted to pick it up, ball it up in my purse and try pull it back on later like some horrible dress.

It does get a little strange and I forget where I am sometimes. Bear with me. I joke that it’s weird but it really is getting intense.

That’s why it’s important to keep up with the latest local Los Angeles/Milwaukee television. It keeps me grounded in reality. Thank goodness I live in reality.

* This clip takes a little time to load. Worth it, though.

Hey, that’s a little cold. I can’t wait to get back to LA television. Or at least, television that pretends to be like LA. Or a show that pretends that it exists.

Yeah, this is my new theme song, I think. Really.

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